Wasted Chance
by romeolover
Summary: Hermione loves Harry...but so does Ginny. Which one gets him? What happens when all three of them are drunk at a party? What happens when Hermione and Ron have sex? When Hermione and Ginny get pregnant Hermione is faced with a tough decision. Does she keep the baby? Who is the father? Who will Harry choose? Where does that leave Ron? Ch 9 up!
1. Wasted

It was Friday afternoon and we were all sitting in the common room. Classes were over for the week; we were just trying to figure out what we wanted to do for the weekend. "Do you guys want to go to that party?" Ron asked looking up from his chess game.

"What Party?" I asked

"I heard that there's supposed to be a big party on the grounds somewhere. All the houses are going."

"How is that going to happen without anyone finding out?" Harry asked suddenly getting curious.

"Well here's the thing, you can't get into the party without this." Ron reached into his pocket and held up a gold coin. The coin had some words engraved on it and on the back was an oak tree.

"A coin Ronald?" I said rolling my eyes.

"Yes a coin and they're going to check in case someone tries to make new ones. I think we should go. I heard it's going to be wild!" Ron said smiling.

"Well then we'll go!" Harry looked up to the clock hanging on the wall. "Its 10:45 now, so why don't we all go get dressed and then we can meet back down here at 11:00?"

Ron and I nodded in agreement and then split. Harry and Ron went up the stairs to the boys' dormitory and I went to the girls'. When I opened the door Ginny was sitting on the edge of her bed applying make up with a mirror. "Are you going somewhere that involves you to get that dressed up?" I asked with a smile. She had on a yellow v-neck yellow halter top that had her stomach out, low cut jeans with a silver belt that matched her silver belly button piercing and matching yellow pumps.

"Oh yeah, I have plans tonight." She said not looking up

"With who?" I asked taking off my clothes

"I'm finally gonna make a move on this guy…I figure if he isn't gonna make the first move I can."

"Who's the guy?"

"Harry"

With a loud clang the hair brush in my hair fell to the floor. What was Ginny doing? She knew I liked Harry. Everyone knew I had feelings for Harry. My heart started to race as I slowly turned around. "Ginny you know I like Harry…what do you mean you're going to make a move?"

Ginny stood up and smirked, "Please Hermione! Why would he ever want you?" She then turned and left out of the room.

This couldn't be happening. I wasn't going to let her have him. He was mine! I looked at the clock; the time read 10:53. I quickly flicked my wand and all my clothes fell to the ground. I walked over and put on the clothes I had laid out. I was going to wear a plaid teal pleated miny skirt with a black belt, a white shirt with a black tank top underneath and some black boots. With another flick of my wand my hair fell down to my mid back in big curls. I quickly applied some make up and then ran downstairs to meet Harry and Ron.

* * *

"Haha Harry you're so funny!" I stumbled towards him spilling some of the drink out of my cup.

"Hermione you're so wasted" Harry said laughing although he was just as drunk as I was.

"Harry you know what?" I said looking up at him

"What Mione?"

"I…"

"You what?"

"I…" and before I could get the rest of my sentence out I vomited all over the floor. Harry just smiled and picked me up. He carried me over to the next room and laid me on the bed. When he got up to leave I grabbed his arm, "don't leave." I said ignoring the throbbing pain in my head.

He turned back and looked at me in my eyes. I love his eyes. Their so beautiful and he knows it. He can get me to do anything if he gives me that look. He smiled and started kissing me. I kissed him back grabbing him by the back of the head and pulling him on top of me. I slowly lift up his shirt never breaking the kiss as he slid my thong off of my legs. A moan escaped my lips as he started kissing and biting on my neck.

He stopped kissing my neck to unbutton his pants and pull out his penis. He then pushed it inside of me as I let out another moan. He went deeper and deeper sending chills up my spine. "Harry! Oh Harry!" He went slow and then fast each speed change sending more chills. "Hermione I'm-"

"Don't stop!" I yelled

He immediately closed his mouth and kept going until we were to tired to go on anymore.

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**So what did you guys think? Let me know...it has been awhile for me! lol So please review so I know what you think**


	2. Confession

I woke up at 3:46 in the morning and vomited all over the floor.  
I got up carefully avoiding the vomit and walked into the hallway. I walked past the rooms full of fifth years that would be regretting tonight when they have Snape's class at 7:00 tomorrow morning...or technically today. When I found the bathroom I walked in and shut the door behind me.

"Mione?"

I looked up to see someone laying in the tub. The image was blurry, but I did notice that his shirt was off. "Mione what are you doing in here?" He asked again. His voice sounded like Harry, but was it Harry? I think he was in the bed when I left, but then again I don't remember.

"Harry? Is that you?" I asked taking a step closer

"Mione you should lay down you look like you're about to-" But before he could say another word I got that feeling. I could feel my stomach bubbling everything worked it's way back up. I looked around frantically searching for the toilet. Harry ran over and guided me to the toilet just in time for the vomit to come out. When I finished I wiped my mouth and looked up at him, "I'm sorry you have to see me like this Harry."

He sat down next to me and pushed the hair out of my eyes, "It's ok Hermione."

I gave him a small smile and then kissed him, softly at first, but then rough. He laid down me down and got on top of me. "Hermione maybe we shouldn't-"

"Shh" I said kissing him again. He unbuttoned his pants and put his penis inside me. I arched my back as he went deeper and deeper. My nails dug into his back as he went harder. "Don't stop" I moaned into his ear. He nodded his head, kissed me, and continued what he started.

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**Two Weeks Later**

I woke up with my head pounding as if someone was playing a drum in it. I rolled over to see Ginny leaving the bathroom looking pale. She walked over to her bed and climbed back into it. Just then my stomach did a flip; it felt restless. I stood up hoping that standing would help...it didn't.

I made a run for the bathroom and noticed that someone had been there before me. Before I could clean the toilet I vomited all over it. I then got up and walked over to the sink. The cool water felt good against my warm forehead. I looked up to see Ron standing in the doorway. "Are you okay?"

"I think so...just a little naseous." I said sitting against the wall, "where's Harry?"

"He's downstairs talking to Ginny. Hermione we need to talk about-"

My heart dropped. "He's what?" Why was he talking to her. I mean these last two weeks had been great. Harry and I had spent all our time together. I cant remember how many times we had would sneak out of potions to make out by the black lake...so why was he with her?

"She said she had something to tell him, but Hermione-"

"I don't care what she had to tell him" I said standing up. I wobbled a little at first but then walked briskly down the stairs with Ron following behind. On the last step I heard their conversation, "Ginny what does all of this have to do with me?"

"Well...you're the father Harry."

"Woah? No I'm not!" Harry jumped off the couch, "That only happened once...and we were both completely wasted-"

"You mean the night we all went to that party and you had sex with me too?" I said walking into the common room. All of the color slowly drained from his face. "H-Hermione...you heard that?"

"Every word" I said between clenched teeth. "How could you do that to me Harry? You know how I feel about you, everyone knows how I feel about you!"

"Hermione-I'm sorry."

"You're sorry? Please! I don't want to hear sorry."

"Hermione he's the father of my unborn child; you're going to have to accept it." Ginny said with a smirk.

I looked over at her feeling my heart beat faster, "I wasn't talking to you."

"Hermione, don't get all dramatic. I told you he couldn't possibly want you"

"Hermione don't listen to her" Harry said taking a step closer.

"No she needs to know! You never had feelings for her! I've seen the way you look at me Harry! He never wanted you." Ginny yelled

"Hermione, I love you" Harry cried

"No he doesn't" Ginny yelled taking a step closer

I pulled out my wand and pointed it at Ginny, "I SAID I WAS NOT TALKING TO YOU!" Ginny reached into her pocket for her wand but pulled her hand back empty. "Yeah what are you going to do now _Ginerva_? You had so much to say just a minute ago so tell me, where did all that confidence go? Honestly, I don't believe that Harry is the father. A little slut like you knows how to get around." Ginny took another step towards me but froze when I lowered my wand to her stomach.

"Now let me tell you something, Harry does not want you so you should probably leave him alone"

"And what if I don't?" She said staring at me

"Well seeing as how I'm pregnant and he's the father, you and I will have some serious problems if you don't" I replied

Harry looked up at me, "H-Hermione, you're pregnant?"

"Yes"

"And I'm the f-f-father?" he asked taking a deep breath

"Yes you are" I replied

"Or... I am" a voice behind me said.

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**I tried to make it longer! I hope you enjoy it. Please review so I know what you think about it :)**


	3. Frozen

"Ron, what are you talking about?"

He took a step closer, "Hermione I tried to talk to you about it upstairs."

"B-B-But what are you saying?" I asked

"That wasn't Harry you had sex with in the bathroom...it was me."

The breath escaped out of my lungs. I stumbled back until I fell on the couch. That was Ron? I was so sure it was Harry...wait, was I? I don't remember much about what happened that night. What if this wasn't Harry's baby? What would I do? I can't have a baby from Ron, I don't have feelings for him.

"Hermione is this true? Could it really be his baby?" Harry asked

"I guess...I'm not sure" I replied

"You don't know who your baby's father is and you call me the slut?" Ginny said smirking

I ignored her and looked at Harry, "I'm so sorry."

He stared at me with his eyes piercing through me like knives. "How dare you question whether or not I love you when you're doing _Ron_?"

"Harry I didn't know!" I screamed

"I didn't either but you didn't think about that."

"I thought he was you!" I cried grabbing his arm.

He pushed my arm away and backed away. "Yeah I'm sure you did because his red his really resembles my jet black hair!"

"Harry I was drunk!" The tears rolled down my face as the thunder crackled outside signaling rain.

He stared at me with the pain showing behind his eyes and then turned to Ginny, "We need to finish talking" and then he left the common room with her following behind. My knees buckled beneath me and I fell to the ground sobbing. I was numb all over. How could I do this to him? How could I not realize what was going on, and who it was going on with?

"Hermione I'm so sorry" Ron whispered sitting next to me.

"I-I-love him" I said gasping for air. Ron gulped and put his arm around me. "I know" he said stroking my arm.

Later on that day I woke up lying in Ron's arms on the couch. I quietly got up and tiptoed over to the window. I sat in the window seat and stared out at the rain. The thunder boomed in the sky as the wind and rain causes the leaves to dance. The leaves whirled around in the air making circular formations. A movement under the oak tree caught my attention. Harry was sitting against the trunk of the tree waving his wand causing the leaves to whirl around. I quickly ran out of the common room into the storm.

"Harry!" I yelled over the rain.

He looked over my way and then went back to the leaves. I ran over to him and fell on the ground next to him. "Harry please" I sobbed into his chest.

He took a deep breath and then pushed me away. I gasped for air as the sobs came out harder. "Harry, please. I didn't mean for this to happen. You know how I feel about you."

He frowned at me and then turned away. "Harry, say something"

He sighed, "what do you want me to say Hermione? This kills me to know that I _could_ have gotten Ginny pregnant. I felt horrible when she told me, especially when my heart is with you, but it turns out that you could be having my best mate's child. What can I say to that?"

A lump formed in my throat. The wind blew the tree backward and my hair along with it. "Harry I believe this is your baby. I know it is. I can't have someone else's baby when I'm in love with you."

"Apparently you can" he spat the words out at me

Lightning flashed in the sky lighting up the grounds. The rain came down harder making my clothes stick to me. "Harry-"

"Until we figure out whose child it is and what Ginny and I are going to do I think we need some time away from each other." He said standing up

I was frozen. I couldn't move.

"It's the best thing to do." He whispered

He kissed me on my forehead and then walked away. Was this happening? It couldn't be. The man I loved was leaving? How did this happen? This was all my fault. I shouldn't have done this. What was I going to do? Harry is my everything, I can't be without him. All at once the sobs were coming harder and harder. My chest and head were pounding with the intensity of my tears. I couldn't see anything but water. I couldn't move. All I could do was lie in the grass and wait. Wait for Harry to return.

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Hey guys...please review so I know what you think. Otherwise I'm going to be going along thinking by story is awesome when you think otherwise, but seriously we all know it's pretty good! lol. But seriously please review because I'm not going to put up a new chapter until you do ;)


	4. Trouble in a peppermint size

Every second I had to spend without Harry felt like an eternity. The minutes turned into hours; the hours into days. The tension between us was not going unnoticed. The whispers in the hallway grew louder with each avoided look he gave me. How is it that life as I knew it had been ruined in one night?

I woke up to the sound of a quill scratching against parchment. Lavender looked over at me and smiled. "Hi Hermione, how are you feeling?"

"I've been better." I said with a small smile. I swung my feet over the side of the bed and stretched.

"Are you hungry?" She asked putting the quill back into the bottle of ink.

"Um…not really, I don't feel like eating"

"But you need to eat. Your eating for two now"

My stomach did a back flip, "ugh…please don't say that."

Lavender sighed, "What do you mean don't say that? I mean you are pregnant right?"

"I mean yeah I have to be."

Lavender looked at me puzzled, "You have to be? Did you take a test?"

I looked away, "No…I just kind of assumed."

"Hermione, you mean to tell me you and Harry haven't spoken for weeks and you don't know if you're pregnant or not?"

"Oh goodness what have I done?" I said laying back down, "Lavender what if I'm not pregnant. Do you think Harry and I will get back together?"

"I don't know Hermione. I mean there might be a good chance that you will because you're not pregnant, but then again you _did_ have sex with Ron…"

"I don't even know if it _was_ Ron!" I yelled

"Well how could you not know? Ron has bright red hair!"

"Lavender I was beyond wasted that night. I don't even remember what I wore to that party!"

"Humph" Lavender mumbled rolling her eyes

I let out a sigh and rolled over. I know this had to be hard for Lavender to talk about. Everyone knows that she has a huge crush on Ron. That's what made this so hard for me. She is my best friend and knowing that I _could_ be pregnant from Ron would be too much for any best friend to handle.

"What am I supposed to do Lavender? I can't be pregnant…especially not from Ron"

"Well…there's only one way to find out if you are"

I sighed and rolled back over. Lavender was right. The sooner I take the test the sooner I can come to realization with reality. I climbed out of bed and walked over to my closet. I pulled out some gray sweat pants and a black Quidditch shirt. "Let's go see Madam Pomfrey"

* * *

When we walked into the hospital wing Madam Pomfrey was sitting at her desk doing some paperwork. She looked up and smiled, "Hi girls. What can I help you with?"

A huge lump formed in my throat. "H-Hi M-Madam Pomfrey, um….can I have a p-pregnancy test p-please?"

Madam Pomfrey looked at both of us for a while and then got up and walked to her back closet. She returned shortly with a small cauldron and some weird looking ingredients. She told us to sit down and started a fire. "When was your last menstrual?" She asked pouring a dark blue liquid into the cauldron.

"About two months ago" I said wiping the sweat from my forehead.

She pursed her lips and started to stir the concoction. When it turned a gray color she added a root of some sort, some chopped up leaves, and what looked like a talon from a large bird. The concoction started to bubble as she walked over to a closet and brought back a yellow bowl. She put three spoonfuls of the liquid in the bowl and handed it to me. "Drink it"

I lifted it to my nose and smelled it. It smelt like peppermint and cinnamon. I put it to my mouth and swallowed the liquid. It burned going down my throat and left my chest feeling strangely warm. Madam Pomfrey then walked over and lifted up my shirt. On my lower stomach was a small light that seemed to be shining from the inside of my stomach. It had to be about the size of a peppermint, but you could tell it was there.

"Well honey it looks like you are pregnant." Madam Pomfrey said pulling down my shirt.

My heart started to pound and my breathing grew short. "Are you and the father together?" She asked quietly

I couldn't move. I was frozen in the chair. I couldn't hear anything past 'you are pregnant'. How could this happen? What if it wasn't Harry's? Lavender would hate me, and so would Harry. I couldn't breathe. I started gasping for air, but air wouldn't come into my lungs. I clung to my throat hoping to open it up. The room was spinning. All the colors were becoming one.

Madam Pomfrey ran over and grabbed my throat. She quickly ran her fingers down the length of it. My heart slowed down and I began to relax.

"I-I don't know who the father is."

Madam Pomfrey gave me a small smile. "That's okay we can figure that out when you get a little farther along. Now I have some papers to give you which basically tell you what you can and can't-"

"I don't want to keep it."

Madam Pomfrey's face froze. She placed her hand on her chest, "What did you say?"

I looked her in her eye, "I want an abortion."


	5. The storm begins

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of these characters. I have read all of the books. I know that they normally wold not behave this way, but that's what makes this story mine. I don't mind constructive criticism, but if all you're going to say when you review is that Hermione wouldn't do this or Harry wouldn't do that please don't review. **

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"Hermione wait!"

Lavender ran to catch up with me. "Hermione you need to think about this...I mean you can't just jump to conclusions like that. This is something that requires deep thought and-"

"Lavender stop!" I screamed

"Hermione I just want to help-"

"But you can't! Unless you somehow take me back in time so I can stop myself from going to the party, or stop myself from picking up a drink you can't help me!"

Everyone in the hallway was staring. Even the professors had stopped what they were doing to stare.

"So it is true?" Someone whispered

"She IS pregnant?"

"I don't think so...she could be talking about anything right?"

Lavender took a step closer, "Hermione why don't we go talk about this somewhere else?"

"No. I don't want to talk about this at all."

I turned around and walked out the door. The sky was a charcoal gray filled with the sound of thunder. I walked over and sat down on the grass. I leaned against the tree behind me. Why couldn't I be like this tree. Strong, sturdy, and deeply rooted in something good. This wasn't me. I was weak and useless. What could have come over me that night? That was out of character for me. What made me drink? How could I have unprotected sex? How could I have unprotected sex and not remember it?

Lightning lit up the sky as it started to rain. I held on to the trunk for support and pulled myself up. As I brushed the dirt off my pants I looked up to see Harry standing there.

I froze. I didn't know what to say to him or how to say it. For awhile we just sat there and looked at each other. My breathing sped up as my heart beat faster and faster.

He sighed, "Is it true?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Is what true?"

"You're really pregnant?"

"Yes"

He swallowed, "Is it mine?"

"I don't know. Madam Pomfrey says she can figure it out."

He ran his fingers through his hair as the rain stuck his hair to his face. I could see the thousands of thoughts running through his head.

He licked his lips and looked at me, "I haven't stopped thinking about you"

I took a couple steps forward, "Harry I-"

"Don't talk...just listen"

The rain continued to pour down while Harry found the right words. "Hermione you mean the world to me. If that is my child I am ready to be a father to him or her; however, if that is Ron's child..." He ran his fingers through his hair and started pacing.

"If it's Ron's child...how could you? That's my best mate. How could you even think to do that? You had to know that would hurt me!"

"Harry I-"

"Stop talking!" he yelled. Thunder crackled behind him and the lightning lit up his face. He took a step closer to me. The rain seemed to jump off of his face, too afraid of the look it held. "I trusted you. I loved you, and you-"

"ENOUGH!" I screamed.

I walked closer to him getting more angry with each step I took. "I am tired of waking up each day with no control over how that day turns out. I am tired of being accused of something like I planned for it to happen. I am tired of being made out to be the bad person. Yes I had sex! I did it, but it takes two to have sex. I am tired of being the only one blamed. I did not make this child on my own."

"Hermione-"

"No! Now it's your turn to stop talking! What you forgot to mention in your little speech was the fact that Ginny is pregnant and the baby is yours. Wether you want to admit it or not Harry we're in the same boat. If you no longer want to be with me that's fine, but you will NOT continue to punish me." With that said I turned and walked back into the castle with the tears falling as fast and hard as the rain.

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** I know it's short but I wanted to get a chapter up ASAP. I tried to slow it down like you guys reqested..please review :)**


	6. Taking matters into my own hands

The next few days passed by unnoticed. I was doing everything I could to not talk to anyone. I did all of my homework alone in my bed with the canopy closed; I even took my breakfast, lunch, and dinner back to the dormitory. I could feel Harry's gaze turn to me as I walked by but I didn't want to speak to him. I didn't want to speak to anyone.

Harry had turned my world upside down. He abandoned me in my time of need. He didn't give me time to explain he just left. He belittled me and chastised me like he was a saint. He was no better than I was. Harry got Ginny pregnant. The thought made my stomach curl. He was a hypocrite and I wanted nothing more to do with him.

Ron was the real reason my life was in the dirt. He took advantage of me when I was drunk, and then he comes and tries to be in my life after he ruined it. I didn't even want to look at Ron. He knew how I felt about Harry, what could possibly possess him to do that? Why would he proudly announce that this could be his child? He walks around like he has won the battle when he has no idea what the future holds. I refuse to carry Ron's child when I don't love him. I refuse to carry Harry's child when all he has done is criticize me and judge me. It's obvious he doesn't want to be a father…at least not from me.

I pushed my potions homework aside and stared at the ceiling. Maybe that's what it all came down to: Harry didn't want _me_ to have his child. I snorted, that would make a lot of since. When he found out Ginny was pregnant he wanted to go and talk to her, but when he found out I was pregnant the reaction was nowhere near as calm.

I climbed out of bed and walked over to the mirror. I had dark circles under my eyes from too many sleepless nights. I stared deep into the mirror and took a good look at myself. "You are _done_ being everyone else's walking mat. You will no longer be the victim of Harry's cruelty, Lavender's judgment, or Ron's manipulation. You are _not_ the Hermione you used to be. You are strong. You are independent. You. Don't. Need. Anyone."

I stared at myself a little longer and let the words sink in. It was time that I stood up for myself. I would not be the victim any longer. I walked into the bathroom and turned the shower on. I let the bathroom steam up a little before I got in the shower. The hot water was soothing to my skin. It relaxed me. I grabbed some soap and a wash cloth and begin to wash myself. I wished that I could scrub off the comments I heard and the negativity I received. I wished I could scrub off Harry's looks of despair…as if he's the victim? I wished I could scrub of Ron's conniving ways. I wished I could scrub off Lavender's judgmental behavior…but I couldn't. My skin was becoming red from all the unnecessary scrubbing.

I turned off the shower and wrapped a warm towel around my body as I headed to my closet. I put on some dark jeans and a yellow halter top. My wet hair fell down my back beginning to turn into brown ringlets. With a sigh I lifted my head high and walked out of the girls' dormitory.

I continued to walk past everyone with my head held high. I ignored the whispers I received and walked out of the common room, and up the stairs to the hospital wing. I continued walking until I walked right into Madam Pomfrey.

Madam Pomfrey looked up at me in shock, "Hermione! How can I help you?"

I sat down in the seat across from her desk. "Well Madam Pomfrey I wanted to thank you for your guidance the last time I came in here, but I've decided I would rather not keep it."

"Hermione, have you considered adoption?" Madam Pomfrey whispered

"That would mean I would have to carry the child and deliver it. I'm ready to release myself of this burden and get back to my normal life."

"Hermione, I can't give you an abortion without giving you time to reconsider"

"I don't want time"

"But you have to use it. If at the end of next week you decide you don't want to keep it them we can move on."

"No Madam Pomfrey! I don't want to keep this child."

"Wait….what?"

I turned around to see Harry walking into the hospital wing with Ginny. "Hermione you're not going to keep it?" Harry said quietly

I pursed my lips refusing to fall for his fake concern. "No, I'm not. I don't see a need to."

"What do you mean you don't see a need to? If this is my child I want it here!"

I laughed standing up, "oh now you want to consider the fact that it could be your child? Just a couple weeks ago you wouldn't even _speak_ to me. Why would you want to keep a child that only _possibly _could be yours?"

He took a step back as if my words had hit him hard. "I want you to keep it because it could possibly be mine Hermione."

Ginny snorted in disgust. I looked over at her. She was starting to show and she didn't seem to care judging by what she was wearing. I looked back at Harry, "This is my decision. I don't want to have a child."

"You can't do that!" He screamed. "This could possibly be my child. I have a say so in whether or not you kill it!"

My laugh came out dark and cold. "You stopped having a say so the morning you decided you wanted nothing to do with me. You made your choice." I said looking at Ginny

"Yes he did make his choice." She said taking a step closer

"Enough!" Madam Pomfrey screamed. "You two will not fight like that. Ginny and Hermione you don't need to be stressed out right now."

"I don't plan on keeping the child Madam Pomfrey so I can get as stressed as I want to!" I screamed

"Hermione stop saying that. I'm not going to let you do this. I care too much about you." Harry started

"Stop it! I'm not going to sit here and listen to you lie. Now that you know my intentions you want to care? Is that what it took for you to care about me? All I had to do is put the child in harm?" I screamed

"Hermione please" Madam Pomfrey whispered, tears welling up in her eyes.

I reached in my back pocket for my wand to find it wasn't there. Sweat started to beam on my forehead.

"Hermione you're angry and you're not thinking logically right now. Why don't we just take a minute to calm down?" Madam Pomfrey said reaching out her hand.

I looked over at Ginny and saw she was getting more and more agitated as the conversation went on. I tried to hide my smirk as I walked closer to her. "Ginny how does it feel?"

"How does _what_ feel?" she asked through clenched teeth

"How does it feel to know that if this child is Harry's you will no longer be in the picture? If this child is Harry's the child you're carrying will be irrelevant."

"That's not true" She said with hate in her eyes

"Hermione stop" Harry begged

I smirked inching closer, "It's true and you know it's true. Why are you angry Ginny? Could it be because you know how much Harry cares and that your child would not be loved?"

Madam Pomfrey and Harry watched in horror as I inched closer and closer. They were horrified this was happening, yet too shocked to intervene.

"Shut. Up. Hermione." She said reaching in her back pocket

I smiled knowing she was close to breaking. I leaned in close enough to whisper in her ear, "Ginny, we both know you only got pregnant so you could have a chance with Harry. Just between us girls this _is_ Harry's baby, and we both know that Harry will fight for me to keep it. Which means what little chance you had…is…GONE!"

"SHUT UP!" Ginny screamed. She pulled out her wand and a dark blue force threw me against the wall banging my head against the window.

"Hermione!" Madam Pomfrey and Harry screamed

The window broke upon impact with pieces flying and cutting all over my body. I slid down the wall and fell onto my stomach.

"Ginny what did you do?" Harry screamed

Harry rushed over and held my face in his hands. "Everything will be okay Hermione." He cried, and then everything went black.

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**I hope you enjoyed it. I tried to show you the pain Hermione is feeling as she has to deal with this situation. This chapter doesn't in any way reflect my opinion on abortion. Please review so I know how you feel :)**


	7. Just the two of us

When I opened my eyes everything was white around me. I blinked to clear my vision, but the bright light continued to shine in my eyes. I tried to lift my hand to shield my eyes, but a force held it down. I pushed against it but it would not release me. The fight I put up against this invisible force left me tired. I closed my eyes to try to go back to sleep but the sound of footsteps made them open again. The bright light seemed to be getting farther and farther away.

"Humph" I opened my mouth to say hello but the words would not come out. I licked my cracked lips and began blinking my eyes.

"I think she's awake…Hermione?"

I turned my head in the direction of the voice. The figure was covered in a dark shadow but they lifted their hand to push a lock of hair out of my face. "Hermione can you hear me?"

My vision slowly began to clear up. The figure was still covered in shadow but their emerald green eyes broke through the foggy shadow. "H-Harry?" I mumbled

"Don't talk" I could see the pained expression on his face as the dark shadow left my vision. "How are you feeling?"

I looked around and noticed the bright lamps that surrounded me, that would be the source of all the white light. I sat up in my bed and looked over at him, "Where am I?"

"You're in the hospital wing. Do you remember what happened?"

I laid back against the pillows and tried to remember. "The last thing I remember is asking Madam Pomfrey for an abortion." I looked down at my bandage covered stomach and gasped, "Did she give it to me?"

Harry's eyes darted over to the window sill and back, "not exactly"

I looked over at the window sill and saw all the broken glass on the floor. At the sight of the blood I remembered. I _wanted_ Ginny to attack me. If Madam Pomfrey wasn't going to give me an abortion then I was going to _make _her take this baby out of me. I agitated Ginny to the point where the curse she fired threw me against the wall. My hand banged against the cement wall as my back hit the window. The glass shattered as I fell down and landed on my stomach.

I reached my hand up and touched the back of my head. I winced and pulled my hand away from the tender area. I can't believe she really attacked me. I never thought that Ginny would get that angry that she would attack. She is carrying a child of her own why would she willingly try to take away someone else's. When I finished this thought a tear rolled down my check. I never really wanted the abortion. I thought that the baby was the problem and getting rid of it would make Harry and I come back together when in reality, _I_ was the problem. I was so concerned with what Harry wanted and what Ginny was doing that I never once stopped to consider what would be best for my child. Wow, I have a child.

Harry's hand wiping the tears from my face brought me out of my thoughts. "What's wrong?"

"Is my baby okay?" I asked searching in his eyes for the truth

"The baby is fine. Madam Pomfrey said you should be able to leave in a little bit."

I couldn't help but smile, "I'm getting to leave so soon?"

The smile dropped from Harry's face, "Soon? Hermione you've been knocked out for a week now."

"A week? What about my homework and tests and I'm going to have so much catching up to do."

"Shh," He patted my hand, "Everything is being worked out. All of your professors know that you are here and they've all agreed to help you catch up if you need the help."

I looked at Harry's hand covering mine. This was so confusing. The last thing I remember is Harry being angry with me for wanting an abortion, now he's sitting beside me in the hospital wing comforting me? This doesn't make sense.

"Harry why are you here?"

He looked shocked, "What do you mean?"

"I mean why are you here? You and I are not together…don't you have issues to be working out with Ginny?"

He sighed and removed his hand from over mine, "Hermione Ginny is carrying my child so I will always have some kind of involvement with her, but I love _you. _You might be carrying my child too and for her to attack you like that knowing that you are carrying a child infuriates me. I could _never_ be with someone who would hurt you."

I looked away when he finished talking. I didn't know how to accept all of this. Harry is telling me he loves me and he wants to be there for me. This is what I've wanted him to say to me, but why am I not happy? Why am I not crying tears of joy and kissing him passionately? I looked down at my stomach and realized this is no longer about Harry and I. My hand slowly rested on my stomach. This is about my child. I couldn't base my life around Harry anymore. From now on my child is my first and only concern.

"Harry, I appreciate the fact that you sat here with me and you've been comforting me, but I don't think I'm ready to be with you."

His face dropped, "Why not? I thought you loved me?"

"I do love you, but this is no longer about you. I am carrying a child and this child needs to be my main priority. Besides school, having you in my life was the most important objective for me, when I finally got you you were so quick to throw me away. I just think that I need some time to focus on me and my child."

"But this could be my child. Don't you think I should be a part of that?"

"Yes. If this is your child I'm not saying you can't be in his life. All I'm saying is right now I just need some time alone so that I can focus on me and what's best for my child."

He shook his head in disappointment and stood up, "If that's what you want then fine, but I'm not going to continue on without you in my life, especially if that is my child." Without another word he walked out of the hospital wing.

I laid on my side and curled into a ball. Underneath the sheets I rested my hand on top of my stomach. "No one is ever going to hurt you again, mommy loves you."

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**I am soooo sorry about the wait. I wasn't sure if I was going to continue with this story or not, but the idea for this chapter just came to me. I hope you all like it :)**


	8. Love

_I believe love is the most complex emotion humans have to experience. It has the ability to control your mind and make you do things you normally would never do. Your feelings for someone can control your every decision; every thought that goes through your head is of that person. You wake up thinking about them, spend your day thinking about them, and go to sleep thinking about them. Your whole life is consumed by this one person. Depending on how deep the love is it may affect your behavior. You can no longer eat, do homework, or even hold a conversation. All you want to talk about is them. _

_ If this is the case why are people so willing to fall in love? People search for "the one" hoping that they may eventually find someone to complete them, but if this person is going to come with side effects is it worth it? Are the heart aches, the long nights of crying yourself to sleep, and the frustration really worth going through just so you can not be alone? When you're in love you lose yourself. You are no longer who you once were, you become a part of this other person. Sometimes because we spend all of our energy focused on that other person we lose ourselves in the process. We forget about our goals, priorities, and everything that we want just for those couple days of "happiness."_

Hermione rolled over on her side and closed her journal. Two weeks had gone by and I had not spoken to Harry. I avoided any room or hallway that might bring me into contact with him. I took long, twisting pathways to class just so I would be late and would not sit in the seat he saved for me. I had wanted to be with Harry so bad that I lost myself. I didn't know who this person was I had become. I was drinking, going to crazy parties, and having sex with random people. This wasn't me. I needed to take some time away from Harry to recapture who I was.

I put on my slippers and walked down the stairs. The common room was empty as I made my way over to the window sill and sat down next to it. I pushed the window open and let the cool breeze blow against my face. The window felt cool against my forehead as I closed my eyes.

"Hermione?"

I turned my head to see Ron standing there looking at me. I sighed; I had been trying to avoid him too. I wasn't ready to deal with this.

"Hermione I know you've been avoiding me. I know that you're angry and you have a lot going on right now, but I want to be there. I want to help you."

I turned my head back towards the breeze, "You can't help me…I have to do it alone."

He placed his hand on my shoulder, "You never have to do anything alone again."

As much as I didn't want to hear the words they were comforting. I was confused, my feelings for Harry were somewhere between unconditional love and hatred. I had chased him for as long as I could remember and he never showed me any attention until I was willing to have sex; and then comes Ron. Ron has been trying so hard since the night of the party to get my attention. I must admit it felt good to have someone want to pursue me for a change.

"Ron…I can't."

He stroked my hair with the palm of his hand, "Hermione all I'm asking is for you to give me a chance. I just want you to let me show you that what I'm feeling is real. Let me treat you how you should be treated."

My eyes moved from his hand up his arm, neck, and to his eyes. He looked at me with such warmth. His eyes were deep and longing for my attention. "I would never treat you like this Hermione." He grabbed the back of my head softly and moved his lips closer.

"I would _Never_ treat you like this." He breathed against my lips. I turned my head and pushed him away.

"I can't Ron."

"Why" He lifted my chin up and made me look him in the eye

"You know why."

He ran his fingers through my hair and stared deeply into my eyes. "Hermione I am here. I have always been here and I will _always _here. Nothing or no one is going to change that. "

I sighed and pulled away from him. "I need time." I climbed the stairs back up to my dormitory clutching my stomach. This was going to be a lot harder than I thought it would be.

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**Sorry it's so short...I really just wanted to get something out for you guys. Review and let me know what you think. **


	9. Just one dinner

The only noise in the common room was the sound of my quill scratching against the parchment; it relaxed me. I needed some sort of relaxation with my crazy life.

_In one corner I have Harry who has been trying his hardest to win my forgiveness, but is he worth forgiving? When he found out I was pregnant he abandoned me. I was vulnerable and confused and he just left me. I know what Ron and I did was wrong and I accept that. I'm not trying to justify it I just want some understanding. I was drunk and confused and I didn't know what I was doing…Am I really blaming the alcohol?_

_No. I have to be responsible for my own actions. _**I **_chose to take the drink. _**I **_chose to go to the party. The alcohol may have impaired my judgment, but it was still __**my**__ choice to drink. Then again we all went to the party. Harry and Ron were both completely wasted. I'm sure we all made some unwise decisions that night, but the truth is the choice was made._

_Then there's Ron. Ron has been trying so hard to establish some sort of relationship with me. From the beginning he _wanted_ this to be his child. He _**wanted** _a relationship. He didn't want me to have to do this alone. _

My mind went back and forth over Harry and Ron for about an hour. I looked down at the parchment to see the word "alone" written five times. I sighed and crumbled up the parchment. I was going to have to start that report over again for the fifth time. I closed the books and stacked them up. I wasn't going to get any work done. All I could think about was Harry and Ron. I only had two more days left before I had to go back to class and I still have four days worth of work to do. I rubbed my temples in frustration, desperately trying to relax.

"You look stressed" I looked up to see Ron sitting on the couch next to me.

"Oh no, I'm perfectly fine." I grabbed some books off the coffee table and began flipping through them.

"Maybe I can help?" He said taking off his backpack

I couldn't help but laugh, "Help? Seriously Ron, You've gotten this far at Hogwarts with _my_ help. How are you going to help me?"

"The one thing I've figured out by now is that you can never get any studying done when you're brain fried, so why don't you come with me to grab a bite to eat?"

I rolled my eyes, "Thanks but no thanks. I have tons of work to do." I flipped through the book and started reading.

He took the book out of my hand and placed it in his bag. "Ron, what are you doing? I have a report due in two days!"

"You will get your book back after you eat, now come on." He walked out of the common room without another word.

I threw my things in a pile on the coffee table and ran out of the common room after him. By the time I caught up to him he was already out of the castle and walking down the path towards Hogsmeade.

He looked over his shoulder and smiled as I came running up next to him. "You look more relaxed already."

"Ronald I have loads of work to do. I do not have time to be galloping off on adventures!"

"But you do have time to feed yourself right?"

I sighed, "An hour at the most Ronald, I mean it!"

We walked into the pub to see not many people there. We sat down in a booth as a waitress walked over. "What can I get for you?

"Two butterbears and two burgers please." Ron said with a smile

"How do you-"

"I'll have mine medium rare, and she'll want hers well done."

The waitress wrote that down and walked behind the counter. "How do you know how I like my burgers?" I said frowning

"I know a lot about you Hermione…We have been friends for quite some time now."

"Right.." I said

"So why did you laugh when I said I could help with your homework in the common room?" Ron asked raising one eyebrow

My cheeks burned with embarrassment, "well…It's just that I always help you. I'm not saying that you can't"

"Chill Hermione, its fine." He said taking a sip of his butterbeer. "So how have you been? You've been kind of distant lately."

I rolled my eyes and pulled the straw out of my drink, "Well what do you expect? I'm pregnant with a child and I have no idea who the father is. It's either you or Harry. Harry hated my guts when I told him and now he wants to be with me. Oh, and by the way he's expecting a child from your sister. I think that about sums it up."

Ron shook his head and looked me in the eye, "Hermione you've got to stop doing that."

"Doing what?"

"Dwelling. You can't keep dwelling on the issue like that. That's unhealthy. You made a mistake, accept it and move on."

"My child is NOT a mistake."

"I know that _our_ child isn't. Maybe the sex was the mistake. Maybe we should have just waited. Maybe we should have been sober, but the truth is it happened and you _are_ pregnant. There's nothing you can do about it now except move on."

His words sunk in deep. No one had mentioned the situation that way. I hadn't realized that I had been dwelling on the issue. Maybe I should just move on.

"Thanks for dinner Ron." I said leaving the table

"Hermione wait, I didn't-"

I walked out the door before he could say anything. I pulled my coat tighter against the breeze. Maybe I should just move on.

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**Sorry about the wait. Please let me know what you think**


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